As we head into December and close out the year it is very easy to look back and see all that you didn’t create this year. You might be tempted to focus on where you still are. And if you find yourself thinking I’m still single, I’m still the overweight, or something to the effect of I’m still, then I want to help you shift your focus to see all the ways you have grown. I want you to practice looking for growth
This is not your brain’s default. Remember your brain’s default is to show you all the negative, and present how dangerous it is. But typically when we do this in regards to where we want to be, it doesn’t help us get there, it keeps us spiraling.
I want you to look back on the last 11 months of your life and really take inventory of what you created in those 11 months. Did you read any books, did you try for any goals, did you make any new relationships? Did you acquire any new skills? Did you change anything? I know that you have. But often we don’t take the time to really ponder our growth. We can only see how far we have left, or the gap.
I want you to see all that you gained this year, and become someone who continually sees growth.
A simple way to see growth is to make goals. I know that January is the goal setting time of year but I want you to see the value of goals and how you can use them in your life to continually practice growth on purpose.
I did an experiment in November and I made a 30 day goal. I wanted to read a proverb a day and do 50 pushups a day. As I wrap up this today I can see that I actually did 17 days of pushups and proverbs. Now you might look at that and think, wow, you didn’t really meet your goal. Or you can look at that and think, what happened on the 13 days that you didn’t make it a priority? Or you can stop and see the growth. In October I think I might have done 100 pushups total but in November I did 850 pushups. That is a lot of growth. I might have read daily scripture a handful of days in October but in November I opened God’s Word 17 times. Again I can see the growth. Now am I where I really wanted to be, NO. I wanted to do 30 days of pushups and proverbs. But I got 17 days. I get to look at that however I want. I can learn so much from this whole process. Here are a few growth areas that I took away with me.
1.Having a simple goal can focus your attention.
I wanted to work on my upper body strength so I chose a pushup. Notice I didn’t choose sit-ups, lifting weights, or biking. I constrained myself and made a simple goal. 50 pushups was doable but still hard. I didn’t try 100 or even 75. I chose 50 and stuck with it.
I also picked one book of the Bible and did one chapter a day. I didn’t pick a long passage, but again constrained and made it simple.
Often when we try for growth we can make it too complicated and not specific enough. Then we can’t measure it and see how much we have grown. We might be tempted to see the lack and feel like it
2. These were do-goals for a bigger goal.
I wanted to improve strength in my arms. But I made it something I could do daily. A do goal of 50 pushups a day.
I wanted more time spent pondering about God and connecting with Him. The daily Bible reading was to help me towards that. A do goal of 1 proverb a day.
Often we don’t have a bigger picture for why we are doing our simple goals. This might be the case in dating, or weight loss, or saving money. You might make a goal to meet 5 new people each month, but if you don’t know why you are doing it, when it gets hard you might throw in the towel.
3. I didn’t throw in the towel.
I remember the first morning I didn’t do my Proverbs and Pushups. I think it was on the 5th of November. I woke up on Saturday and realized I forgot to do them. I could see my mind shifting to we blew it. But I knew that this was going to happen. I knew that I could not do it one day, and pick it back up the next. This is where I had the most growth. I didn’t make it mean anything about me and where I was headed. I could have thrown in the towel, given up. I could have thought this was a dumb idea and quit. But instead I did my 50 pushups on the 6th and read my proverb. I knew that just because I didn’t do it one day, it was not the end of the world. But so often when we “fail” we want to quit. This is actually where your relationship with you can grow the most. This is where you can give yourself grace and love and still press on. I want to encourage you to grow here.
4. Goals can help you see where you want to think differently.
You are becoming someone who thinks differently than you did last year. Some of that has come because you have purposefully tried new things. I know there are women here who have gone on dates, started online dating, saved money, started businesses, and switched jobs. You have changed your thinking along the way.
Some of you (especially those that did the group coaching program) have let go of some old thoughts that just don’t serve you anymore. But whatever the case to become someone different we have to let go of our old way of thinking and start leveling up our beliefs. Changing the way we think about ourselves, others, our past, and even the world around us, will help us get to where we most want to be.
When I pursue a goal I am often time met head on with my thinking.
Thoughts like:
I can’t do that
This is too hard
I don’t have time
This won’t work out
I don’t know how
But once I can see that my brain is offering me these thoughts like they are true, then I can go in and realize I just need to think differently to get a different outcome.
5. It’s important to celebrate.
No matter the results of your 30 day goal, you can celebrate who you are becoming. I love that I put in the effort to try and level up these areas of my life. I appreciate the ways that I practiced discipline, and I am proud of all that I did achieve. But I am most proud of how many times I failed and kept getting up and trying again. Find ways to celebrate along the way and enjoy the journey.
You may be afraid of goals because if you don’t achieve them you are a failure.
I want you to know that goals don’t do that. When you don’t achieve the goal and your brain says, “Wow, you're a failure,” you just believe it. I have gotten really good at hearing my brain but not believing it. When I didn’t make my goal and my brain said that to me, I just gently responded with “I’m not a failure, but a learner.” This is what growth looks like. Putting a goal out in front of you, taking the steps to achieve it and having your back all along the way.
You can pursue this in your life too. Start by dreaming about the life you most want. Look at what it would actually take to get you there. Create an action plan and then map it out with 30 day goals to get you closer each step of the way. Constrain and focus on one area and watch the growth happen.
Cheering you on,
Angie
