Often times my clients come to me and as we peel back the layers they realize that they don’t love themselves, or maybe even really like themselves. One of the subtle consequences of that, is that they don’t take good care of themself.
They have many thoughts about how they should be better, or different, or need to change. They have an ideal version of themselves that they believe should exist and they are not there yet. They don’t really know how to get there so they do like any good person does and they start to beat themselves up thinking that will help them become who they really want to be. That doesn’t work because beating yourself up never moves the needle for very long. And they don’t know what to do. But when you start that beat down process you inevitably can start to disregard, ignore, or leave yourself out of the equation. Which leads to not taking care of yourself.
Picture something in your life that you love. It could be your vehicle, or your apartment or home. It could be your favorite pair of boots, or the perfect pair of jeans. Whatever it is, I want you to think about how you take care of it. I bet you treat it real nice.
You make sure that it gets taken care of. If you love your vehicle you keep it clean and maintained. You put good smelling stuff in your car so you enjoy it even more. You try and keep it out of the elements if/when possible. If you spill something in it, you clean it up quickly.
You catch my drift, if you like it or love it you take care of it.
For those of you that have worked with me you know my relationship with my Ford Expedition. Let’s just say I have gotten coaching over my vehicle. When my husband was purchasing the Expedition from an auction of hail damaged vehicles he said he really liked Expeditions and he thought I would like it too. I had never driven or been in a Ford Expedition. We got it at a good price. I sold my van, the van that I loved, for this Ford Expedition. After driving the Expedition I realized all the things that made me love my van even more. A few of them just to help you understand. I could push a button and the back doors would slide open. My Expedition doesn’t have that feature. There was space on the floor in between my chair and the passenger chair for my purse. There is no space between me and the passenger chair, there is a huge console. I could turn around and reach the children in the seats behind me. You can not do that in the Expedition. I clearly have some thoughts about the Expedition being a vehicle that I wish was different. But, I am working on thinking thoughts that make me enjoy my car. And something I realized the other day was I haven’t gotten an oil change or cleaned out my car in 6 months. You take care of things you love. And after I cleaned out the car yesterday I realized that I like it clean. So see the cycle; we take care of things we love and we tend to love the things we take care of. It is funny though because when it comes to ourselves we have to throw the wrench in there on purpose. Let’s start loving ourself, and/or liking ourself and from there we will take care of ourself and when we take care of ourself we tend to like ourself more.
So I want to ask you, are you taking care of yourself?
Do you pay attention to what is going on with your body? Is something with your health begging for your attention and you just keep ignoring it, hoping it will go away?
Do you shower, and get ready and do your hair?
Do you get the sleep you know you need?
Do you fuel your body with good quality foods that work for you?
Do you consume things that in the long run have bad affects on you?
Do you buy clothes that actually fit and you feel good in?
Do you take care of your spiritual needs? Are you carving out time to worship and connect with God? Are you filling your mind with amazing thoughts about the One who created you?
Are you giving time and space and attention for your emotional and mental needs?
Do you take care of you?
Because again we take good care of things we love. When we value something we want it to last a long time. And I always tell my kids when they get a new toy, it is your job to take care of this. Don’t forget about it, abandon it, and then watch it get run over in the driveway because you didn’t do your job.
So, I will say the same to you. It is your job to take care of you. You might think that when you get married it will be so great because you will have someone that will take care of you. I am married, and let me tell you. It is my job to take care of me. I have to know what is going on with me physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. And then I have to take the actions to get it taken care of. My husband, my kids, my friends, and my parents do not do that.
A prime example was this past weekend. I woke up Sunday feeling off. As I was going through the motions of getting everyone ready for church I didn’t want to go to church. I was feeling overwhelmed and could tell I was on the verge of not liking how I showed up. I made the decision that the best thing for me would be to be dropped off at Starbucks and to spend time with God alone and then picked up after church. I knew what I needed. No one was going to do that for me. I had to step in and do that for me. And it can be hard to do that sometimes.
So, while you are single and you have this time, figure out what it takes to take care of you. God gave you this amazing body, mind, heart, and soul. Now figure out how to steward it well and I promise you that as you care for it, you will love it, and as you love it, you will care for it more.
And if you are having a hard time starting all of that I want you to practice thinking thoughts that make you love who God has made you to be.
Doing this work right along with you,
Angie
