A lot of women that I work with want to grow in this area.
I love sharing with them two definitions of self-confidence. One is to be secure in your self and your capabilities. Which as believers we know that God made us and gave us our abilities so really we would need to be confident in who God made us to be. And two is your ability to trust yourself, know that you can feel any feeling, and your overall opinion of yourself.
When we do things that we have done over and over we have confidence which is the thought, “I can do that.” But when we attempt to do something that we have never done before, then what do we do? We don’t have confidence to lean on. We think, “I have never done that,” and that typically creates doubt. So you would need self-confidence to do the things you have never done before. It would be your ability to do what you say you are going to do and trusting that you can feel any feeling that comes up in it.
Example: You want to try dating. You think, “I have never done this.” You want to doubt you are capable. But then self-confidence steps in and you think, “I am willing to feel any feeling and have my own back.” That would be self-confidence at work in your life. We know that going on a date may require you to feel a lot of feelings; awkward, uncomfortable, nervous, failure, vulnerable, and afraid. But being self-confident would allow you to do it anyways, knowing you can feel all the feelings.
I teach about this in the group program and help you understand that this is an area that you can grow in by doing some thought work in these areas.
Let’s break it down a little bit:
I know who God made me to be & the abilities He has given me
This is a great place to start. Do you know how God has made you to be and the abilities that He has given you specifically? Each one of us is made so incredibly unique and He wants us to be confident in who He has made us. We didn’t create us by the way… He did. So spend some time thinking through who you are.
Your ability to trust yourself.
This boils down to knowing you will do what you say you will do. You will follow through on your plan. People sometimes think that they are born with self-confidence or not. Really self-confidence is something you earn for yourself by keeping your word and doing what you say at the highest level. This may be an area that you need to practice. I share more about that process in this post.
You can experience any emotion
A lot of times we live in doubt because we don’t think we can handle what could happen. But understanding that there is no emotion we can’t just feel all the way through in our bodies could be a game changer for you. I share more about that process in this post.
Your opinion of yourself
Your thoughts about you are what generate or deplete self-confidence, so choose your thoughts about yourself wisely. A self-confident person knows they are capable, worthy, strong, and competent. This doesn’t have to be true in order to for you to think about it that way, you just have to practice feeling those feelings to gain more self-confidence. I share more about that process in this post.
Understanding self-confidence has really helped me do things I have never done before. I have loved seeing what comes up for me and what feelings I actually feel when I do trust myself and lean into self-confidence. I have gone into a situation that was new and said out loud, “I can do this and feel any feeling.” It is so helpful because it gives me that BRING IT ON attitude.
If you had more self-confidence what would you do? Would you start that new job? Go on that date? Take action towards your dream? Start living the life you have only dreamed was available to others?
Here’s to practicing growing in this area,