Being able to take the paper filled with all my thoughts from my thought download (check last weeks blog) and knowing what to do with them has been life changing for me. I have learned how to TAKE MY THOUGHTS CAPTIVE.
This is the self-coaching model that Brooke Castillo teaches at the Life Coaching School. Learning how to self-coach is what has unlocked so much for me. I can take a thought and see what feeling that thought creates.
From that feeling I can see what actions I am taking. And from those actions I can see my current results. Wow! So, a simple thought like “I don’t know how to make friends in this new town” creates a feeling of inadequacy. From inadequacy, I take a lot of inaction, not initiating conversations or not asking people to coffee or hang out; which then results in me being unable to make new friends. That creates more evidence to back my belief of I don’t know how to make friends in this new town. The cycle never ends, I just keep proving that to myself over and over.
But just changing that thought a little can make a huge shift in what actions I do take. Just thinking I am becoming someone who knows how to make friends in this new town, or asking myself how would someone make friends in a new town and answering that with something more than I don’t know. These thoughts are what create a different feeling than inadequate.
How do I want to feel about making new friends? I want to feel confident, capable and like new friends are for me in this place. When I feel those things, I take a lot more action than just being passive. When I believe there are new friends for me here in this place my brain goes to work confirming that belief and typically, I see new friendships sparking up all around me.
It all happens with a new thought. Seeing the old thought that I believed to be true (I don’t know how to make friends in this new town) and examining it and realizing that thought is keeping me stuck, is key. Then I can begin to shift to the new thought, feel confident and start taking action from there. This practice is something you can do with any of your thoughts from your thought download.
And if you try and it doesn’t quite work, then it’s ok, I can help you. That is where coaching comes in. I can walk you through the model and help you gain clarity on what your thought is creating and what new thought you could think instead. Want some help? Hit the Let’s Talk button and schedule a free mini-session today.